I find myself incredibly saddened by the tale of Sami al-Haj, who was recently released from Guantánamo after 6 plus years. I am happy for him and for his family that he was finally released, but I am deeply angered and ashamed of my country's treatment of him and other prisoners, whether they are guilty or not. It is, of course, more shocking to our sensibilities that we held someone in such appalling circumstances when there was obviously no evidence against him. However, as a country that prides itself on the jealous protection of individual rights and civil liberties, it is completely inexcusable for us to treat any prisoner in this fashion.

I recognize that this published expression of indignation is long overdue, although I have shared these sentiments with like-minded friends for years now. The residual problem for me is how to respond to these atrocities. The retaliatory side wants to see Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeldt, Ashcroft, Yoo, and others subjected to the same dehumanizing conditions, the same torture methods, the same lack of hope for a trial or release. However, an "ends justifies the means" argument makes me no better than these untried criminals. How do we hold them - and ourselves accountable - and not behave as brutally and vindictively as they have?

As someone who witnessed the protests of the 1960s and 1970s, I can attest to how repugnant much of the self-righteousness of that era was. I was no exception, and I must share in the responsibility for the conservative backlash that occurred as a result of the posturing and rhetoric of much of my generation. Recent peace protests strike me as tepid imitations of the protest movements of the past century, with an occasional, pathetic attempt to revive some of the earlier street theater antics. I think the low numbers who have turned out for these protests reveal that others in this country also question the wisdom of simply repeating past gestures of resistance.

We need to learn to oppose the abuse of power in newer and more effective ways. We also need to find ways to quietly persist in resistance. The extremes of the past led to a kind of burn-out on social activism. Trying to continuously fuel a movement with indignation and anger, as justifiable as those responses may be, will not work over the long haul. Soon, the inevitable lethargy provides an opening for the venal, the power hungry, and the sociopaths who find their way into the corridors of power.

I don't claim to have the answers or to know what shape that opposition should take. The recent caucuses in Iowa renewed my hope to some extent. I saw sober citizens engaging in the process in a thoughtful and deliberate way that was very heartening. Furthermore, there are voices increasingly emerging in the country that are calling for candidates to tell the truth, regardless of how unpalatable we may find it, e.g. Thomas Friedman in an op ed in The New York Times [www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/opinion/04friedman.html?ex=1210651200&en=f575e3ff061ca21f&ei=5070&emc=eta1] But often, this seems like too faint a glimmer of light in the gathering darkness.

The great spiritual masters throughout human history have stressed that integrity in action can only be the result of individual evolution and inner peace. The response from the activist side is that we do not have the luxury of such personal development in the face of injustice, natural disaster, human suffering and danger to the environment. As I struggle to find my own way with love and compassion, I need to remember that others share my frustration. I need to remember this not only to feel myself connected to others but also so that I may be more tolerant of the variety of responses to the current ugliness in our government and our culture at large. Still, I am left with the question of my own responsibility as a citizen of the US to see that justice is done and done well.

I would welcome thoughtful response from others. Many of you may be much further along this path, and if you feel inclined to share your thoughts and insights, it would be helpful. Others may simply share my sense of not knowing "what next." That too would be encouraging and welcome.

Introducing Mr. Paddypaws

It is with some embarrassment that I acknowledge the omission of a significant member of my household, Mr. Paddypaws, more commonly known as Paddy or Buzzbomb. Paddy started out in life as "Dante" the cat, and he is still on record under that nom de guerre at the local vet's office. However, my son told me the name was pretentious, so in the absence of any conspicuous evidence of literary genius, I succumbed to pressure and changed his name. In many ways, Paddy does suit him better, especially when he is feeling feisty. And Mr. Paddypaws gives some indication of his, ahem, impressive size. He does have a certain air of dignity and self-awareness not always found in Iowa farm cats, which is another way of saying he's smarter than hell. As you can see from the one photo, he can be faster than he looks. He is definitely not happy about my leaving for a week-long gathering in Cleveland and has been giving my suitcase a baleful eye. Food has a remarkable way of soothing his ruffled feelings, however.

Here is a link to more pictures of my visit to Chennai and to Tirippur in the SW part of Tamil Nadu: Visit to India 7-08. July is supposed to be the monsoon season, but it was hot and dry for most of my visit, all of which made for better pictures, I guess.

This is my inept attempt to create a blog. I was inspired most recently by the blog my older son created to record his semester abroad in Germany as well as another blog on India, a country I have now visited twice, albeit very briefly each time, and love. I look forward to experimenting with this site and joining the digital age.